Golden Oldie Gifts

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

The Final Selfie

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

Old songs made new

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

"I'm not worrying. I've got most of my money in handbaskets."

Mick Jagger at 95.

"Let's shake them up and do our version of 'Blowin' in the Wind'."

"He's auditioning for a part in 'Conan The Octagenarian'."

"I can see by the sudden appearance of little dishes of hard candy in every room, Veronica, that we have finally entered our golden years."

Another Programme Reminding You How Much Better Music Used To Be.

'You deserve more than just some silly card this year...grab yourself a good one.'

'I throw a strike every time with this ball, but I can only lift it once a night.'

Excess Baggage: Before you laugh at those senior citizen travel groups, just try and keep up with them.

"I gotta stop, Ralph. . . one of my balls fell off!"

"Like Bob Dylan said, 'You don't know what you've got til it's gone."

'Remember when they were babies and that was all padding?'

Aged Hippie Retirement Home: 'Free miles, free minutes - - what ever happened to free love?'

'I've reached the age when people die more often.'

'Me and your Grandad have been married for sixty years. But he still whispers sweet nothings into my hearing aid.'

"It'll spell the end of our dirty dancing group."

"I'm liver spot spice."

16+60/66 Magazine

Golden Oldies Radio - Knock Three Times On The Ceiling If You want Me

"It may be an old world custom, but, like my father, I also enjoy a little piece of cheese with my breakfast."