Oldies Fan Gifts

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Jimi Hendrix.

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

How hit songs get their names

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

Mick Jagger at 95.

'Used to be 'Rock around the Clock', now is it 'Limp Around the Block'?'

Old man imagines his younger self dancing with a cane.

"Living...in...the...1970s...must...have...been...DYN-O-MITE!"

'Cookery is the new rock n' roll'

"He refuses to watch the NEWs - living as he does, in the past."

'Beat it! I've got a computer!'

Oldies Band.

Sheep of the 1970's

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

Comeback of the Boardroom Knickerbocker.

Tarzan hate C.G.I.

'I'd have to say you've been exposed to extemely high levels of polyester.'

TV Set

Another Programme Reminding You How Much Better Music Used To Be.

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

Workers constructing barcodes

'Mom calls this a diary where you write private thoughts no one else can see. What fun is that?'

Keith Richards

Noddy Holder

"How about that? Is Cruz a collector?"

'This is so old-school.'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary - Digitally Mixed - Any drink stirred without the use of a spoon, swizzle stick or any other tool/utensil.

Mick Jagger

'Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I want to go to bed...'

'The announcer said 'don't touch that dial'... What's a dial?'

"I was into revolutions. That's one of my 45s and here's a 33 and a 1/3."