Old-time Radio Fan Gifts

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Boombox

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Spike Milligan

Easy & Hard Listening Rock Radio.

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'I'm Bored'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

'No, the big rabbit Harvey isn't Paul Harvey -- at least I don't THINK he is.'

'I think I've found what's causing the radio's funny buzzing sound.'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

Books recommended by Oprah and Howard Stern.

Ask Sadie is back. You're on, caller. What's your problem? My wife finally answered my emails. She wants me back. She says she's sorry she left me for her personal trainer. She said making mad, passionate love to him has become unfulfilling. She said she's tired of the excitement, tired of his fancy house, tired of the lavish trips around the world, and tired of him not snoring like a jackhammer, like I always do. Let go and move on, you ninny!!! She said she's especially tired of his ability to

I think I may have a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality, Dr. Kapuchnik. I'd say you're more like Dr. Demento and Mr. Potato Head, Al.

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

Randi Rhodes

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

Feelings towards radios #2 Picket signs with pictures of radios on them

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry. What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance? Simple solution: send your mother to Japan where their entire culture reveres the elderly. Sayonara, grandma!!! Are you sure that's not a just a stereotype? Who cares?!

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Cleveland. What's YOUR problem?! My deadbeat brother-in-law won't leave. What do I do? For six months, he's been sleeping on my couch, watching my tv, and drinking my Dr. Pepper. Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Stalin liberated Eastern Europe and then didn't leave for 44 years. You're going to need a massive arms race, a containment strategy, and Sylvester Stallone. Now he's using my toothbrush.

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Fed up in Flint," you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. I bought a dirt-cheap house in Flint, hoping to rent it out. I had it renovated, and then the day before our open-house, someone broke in and stole all our plumbing. So what?! In my day, nobody had plumbing! We did our business in a ditch down by the river and we were glad about it! List it as "vintage Americana" and quit yer complainin'! But they took the roof, too. In my day, a roof

"Frankly, that sounds like the sort of thing a cat would say.."

Months ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, I think you should laugh, love, and go with the flow - and do that with gusto! Don't sweat the small stuff. Kiss all the girls. Boys or whichever you prefer, but remember to laugh. - Bob. Pervert! If we allow laughing, then we'll have to allow cackling. Maybe even guffawing. I refuse to go down

'Stay tuned for a surprising new health study regarding...'

It's the "Ask Sadie Advice Hour." "Mad in Montauk," you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java .net Cybercafe. My husband and I are getting divorced, and it's gotten bitter and angry. The problem is, we have 43 mutual friends on Facebook, and he's being so unreasonable about which ones are rightly his. You're arguing over custody of your Facebook friends? What the @#$% is wrong with you people?! Obviously, they're all yours. Everyone knows it's usually the woman who created the friendships i

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'