Old Shows Gifts

"If you ask me they're pushing their luck."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

University Soapflakes

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

Before the Internet

'There's nothing on.'

Astral Projection

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Star Wars vs Star Trek

TV-Man

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

TV jester.

Time Machine Collision

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

"The end of my favorite series is near."

Succession 2

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."