Classic Shows Gifts

'Can't you finally admit that you were wrong? -- Lawrence Welk is NOT just a passing fad!'

Barney Fife

"Happy Birthday!"

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

'Can you assure my son that you only use vegetarian sausages?'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Before the Internet

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

Succession 2

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

New Course At The New School

'Morcambe and Wise.'

'Forgettable' - The Hit Musical

'I told him not to touch that dial.'

The Great Banzinni discovers the oldest trick in the book.

Miami Vice

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

"I've got a couple of tickets for Wild Bill's 'Wild West Show'.. only $800 each!"