Oil Price Survivor Gifts

Petrol Suicide

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Sub-prime Bear

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'

Fairy Tales. The piggy bank's been smiling a lot lately. He's the only one who didn't lose his savings in the stock market meltdown.

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

'I'm sorry, sir, but there is a 25 surcharge to use the lavatory,'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

Energy trap.

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

Economic casualties.

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

"Well, dear, you can quit worrying about our roof!"

'New! - 'Fuel Price Rage' counselor on duty.'

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

Gas eyedropper.

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

'Probably just another correctional movement...'

"I be feelin' a mighty hot wind..."

"I invested $1000 in Nortel and now my shares are worth 18 cents."

"What to expect when you’re expecting. Newly revised edition."

"I think it's nice the way we divide the pain in to four equal parts."

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

"No one knows what he does, but it's rumored that he's the guy who sets global oil prices."

'Oh, sure, the world gets a savior, and what do I get? Hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits!'

Trees and hurricanes

Anger Management - Now Treating Fuel Price Rage.