Price Rise Survivor Gifts

'The price of beer must have gone up again.'

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

Capitalism gone nuts!

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'What a bargain!'

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

Short Memories

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

'New! - 'Fuel Price Rage' counselor on duty.'

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

Gas eyedropper.

'Because in this economy you make a few compromises for job security.'

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

'Forty pounds for a round of drinks! Prices have gone up since you last bought a round.'

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

"Sure, you lost most of your money investing in this stock, but they did give you a participation trophy."

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

Anger Management - Now Treating Fuel Price Rage.

"I've decided to move back in with my parents."

'If it's any consolation, your portfoilo is now in a far better place.'

'Since I lost my shirt on the stock market, I now only accept strong currency or gold bullion.'

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

'Your portfolio took a beating...,but the good news is no humans or animals were injured.'

Just in: Condolence cards for the small investor.