Price Rise Survivor Gifts

'The price of beer must have gone up again.'

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

Fairy Tales. The piggy bank's been smiling a lot lately. He's the only one who didn't lose his savings in the stock market meltdown.

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

Capitalism gone nuts!

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'What a bargain!'

'New! - 'Fuel Price Rage' counselor on duty.'

Short Memories

"You can't beat the prices of these big box retailers."

Supermarket 'Men, temporary lobotomy patch'

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

Gas eyedropper.

'Because in this economy you make a few compromises for job security.'

'Forty pounds for a round of drinks! Prices have gone up since you last bought a round.'

"I invested $1000 in Nortel and now my shares are worth 18 cents."

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

The Rebuilding Begins Again

Anger Management - Now Treating Fuel Price Rage.

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

"Sure, you lost most of your money investing in this stock, but they did give you a participation trophy."

"I've decided to move back in with my parents."

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

'If it's any consolation, your portfoilo is now in a far better place.'

'Since I lost my shirt on the stock market, I now only accept strong currency or gold bullion.'

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'

'Your portfolio took a beating...,but the good news is no humans or animals were injured.'

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."