Offseason Strategist Gifts

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"I've just barbecued my head again."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Perils of the double play.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'Let's go over our secret play.'

The Other Cooperstown

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"I love fast break business success."

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

Snail Coach

'Are you blind ref?'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.