American Football Strategist Gifts

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

The Other Cooperstown

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'Let's go over our secret play.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"I love fast break business success."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

Snail Coach

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

'Are you blind ref?'

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'I hate PowerPoint.'