Playoff Strategist Gifts

"Wow! I think you just moved up in the playoffs, Tom!"

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

The Other Cooperstown

'Let's go over our secret play.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"Stag poker"

"I love fast break business success."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

'Are you blind ref?'

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'