Basketball Strategist Gifts

Basketball Players Working Together

"Just practice half-court shots -- all other shots have lost their meaning."

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

'Players treat me with a lot more respect since they found out I'm a retired colonel.'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'Finally, I have a player on the floor who can run the offense.'

'What? Hand out assists to my teammates? That will just create a cycle of dependency!'

'He was a good coach. But hey, bottom line in this league? If you don't win, you get whacked.'

'OK, here's the play, based on your prorated salaries...'

'He can't dribble or shoot, but he's got a good head for the game.'

'Furgis, you call that a business 'game plan'? It looks just like the NCAA 'March Madness' college basketball brackets.'

'Let's go over our secret play.'

Spelling bee word: Krzyzewski

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

The Other Cooperstown

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"I love fast break business success."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"