Fantasy Football Strategist Gifts

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

The Other Cooperstown

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"I love fast break business success."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"