Summer Strategist Gifts

'Wouldn't an air conditioner be better than all of those fans?'

'We have to find something for you kids to do this summer.'

I'm starting a lawn-mowing service instead of going to camp. Excellent. Can I have a loan to get started? What for? Gas can, tool cart, mower blade, sharpening and insurance in case I cut off my foot or someone's prized peony. Maybe we can afford summer camp. It's a bargain.

'Yeah, you were creative.'

'The wife came up with the idea, the Haunted House was dead in this heat, yeah its going down a storm.'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

Working Environment

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"I like to stay on top of things."

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'That's the bell for round two.'

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

'First item on the agenda...Throw out the agenda!!'

'Organisations that are not driven by the future quickly find themselves the dust of history,'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

Plane with banner shoots at another.

Global warming debate.

"Last question. Where do you see yourself thirty seconds from now?"

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

"Be honest. Where do you see me in five years?"