Off-season Strategist Gifts

'Hefner is thinking about the off season already.'

Annual pursuit of free agents in the off-season.

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'Let's go over our secret play.'

The Other Cooperstown

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"I love fast break business success."

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Are you blind ref?'

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'