Summer Scholar Gifts

"School's out- academic summer camp is in."

"This is my summer reading list. The only book they left out was 'How To Speed Read.'"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"I've just barbecued my head again."

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

"Finally...school starts next week."

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'That piggy bank is for my college fund.'

Girl - 'How come they're not affecting you, mister?!' Man - 'Simple, I'm using 'Writer's Block'.'

Parental Role Model

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

'First item on the agenda...Throw out the agenda!!'

"And I'd recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy."

"That's the answer to 'How long till winter break?' I'm looking for the capital

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

'I went to summer school and helped a few teachers decide not to teach there next summer.'

"Some people call this an elementary school. Not me. I call it pre-med."