Offline Advocates Gifts

The Off-line Store

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

King uses drawbridge as wheelchair ramp to his van.

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

"Harold died happy knowing he gained a certain immortality through social media."

'Sure, you can communicate with him. He's also hooked up to the Internet.'

'Ahem. No txtng PLZ."

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

"Please hold my calls."

Liu Xiaobo dies.

'Give me the name of your first girlfriend, first car, and first pet!'

"My mommy's passwords are stronger than your mommy's passwords."

Freedom of Press

Herring Impaired

The Trump Agenda is resisted by women.

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

Cuban Protests

"It's just the virtue signal - unfortunately, it doesn't do much."

'It looks like a sad individual hunched over a computer, but apparently it's people power.'

"I applied for the right to be forgotten."

I haven't seen Uncle Mort lately. Are you serious? How could you miss him? Ever since Youtube started demonetizing channels left and right, it's been driving independent content creators out of business. Your uncle's out front trying to get people to sign a petition to save his favorite show. "Oatmeal News" told us what the incontinence industry didn't want us to hear about staying regular!

"I told you we need the internet. We can't organize a revolution with sticky notes!"

Ask Me about my Break from Social Media

You'll require a better credit rating before we we can raise the limit on your card.

The only guy left who's not online.

Thoughts and Prayers

'Whenever I get on the Information Superhighway, somebody FLASHES me.'

"He definitely doesn't want to see anybody."

2020 was a rough year for lip readers. (sad man wearing a mask, not able to read lips)

"Now customers must prove they're not robots by checking the boxes of people making deposits."

"Once she went off to college, we turned her room into storage space for all our protest signs."

"What this world needs is a Facebook with admission standards."

Man with head in The Cloud gets excited.