Internet Advocate Gifts

'It looks like a sad individual hunched over a computer, but apparently it's people power.'

"I applied for the right to be forgotten."

I haven't seen Uncle Mort lately. Are you serious? How could you miss him? Ever since Youtube started demonetizing channels left and right, it's been driving independent content creators out of business. Your uncle's out front trying to get people to sign a petition to save his favorite show. "Oatmeal News" told us what the incontinence industry didn't want us to hear about staying regular!

Cuban Internet

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

'David, can't you speak for yourself?'

The Government is now following you...

"It's 'She's driving me crazy and I'm not sure whom to turn to.' "

Net Neutrality

"You say you know at last where you made the wrong turn in your life. You never told me you made a wrong turn in your life."

"Holding an open contest on social media and announcing the winner may not be the most secure way to pick a password."

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

"Hey honey, I found this great article about protecting kids from social media on Facebook!"

"Clean your browser history, mate?"

'He's spending a lot of time online. I hope he's not being groomed.'

Why god isn't listening...

Perpetrator of a daring daylight illegal electronic transfer of funds fleeing the scene of the crime.

'You need a better password. Everybody will be able to guess you password as 'woof'.'

'Give me the name of your first girlfriend, first car, and first pet!'

"What do you mean 'Get her to stop'?...Your baby's a human being and she already has things she wants to tell you. Crying is the only language she knows. Just hold her tell her 'I hear you'...and grow a thicker skin! Baby tears aren't little grenades, loser!"

May I propose a political theory? Not now, dear. I shouldn't even have to ask you Snookums. If I've got a theory about the world, I should just be able to say it. That's part of being in a relationship. I should be able to talk and know that you're going to listen to me. I'm still pontificating! Come back here!!!

"All ok. Wait, let's see what google remembers..."

"I realize some of your friends have them, but you cannot have a webcam in your room."

'You need to be more accessible to your employees... so you'll need to get rid of the moat.'

"It's just the virtue signal - unfortunately, it doesn't do much."

"Perhaps, in the name of mutual respect, you could call your husband something other than your minion."

The only guy left who's not online.

'Don't act too adorable...we'll be half naked on the internet before we even know what privacy is!'

"Is there something you'd like to talk about, Gerald?"