Online Security Advocate Gifts

The Government is now following you...

Perpetrator of a daring daylight illegal electronic transfer of funds fleeing the scene of the crime.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

A Failiure to Communicate

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"It's 'She's driving me crazy and I'm not sure whom to turn to.' "

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

"Holding an open contest on social media and announcing the winner may not be the most secure way to pick a password."

"Hey honey, I found this great article about protecting kids from social media on Facebook!"

'I see that you have two sisters and like the beatles, I predict that you will graduate in 2012,,,'

"Look, he's got his blanket. He's doing a secure search."

"I'm sorry your password needs to include upper & lower case letters & at least one number."

'He's spending a lot of time online. I hope he's not being groomed.'

"Really? A password for a jar of pickles??"

"You are now $15,000 richer. I found the online password to your brokerage account 20 traders ago."

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

"Clean your browser history, mate?"

We respect your privacy, which is why we make it so hard for you to keep...I'm Ok with that.

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

Well, shoot, the passwords bark, woof, yap and ruff are all taken – Now what?

Username/Password