Cybersecurity Advocate Gifts

I updated my privacy settings.

'We're sorry. Your answer to your secret question was incorrect. Your bank account has therefore been erased from our banking system.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

Police Statetion

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Careful! He knows computers."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'