Offline Enthusiasts Gifts

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Does the ark have wifi?"

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

Clandestine cows.

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"She gets her musical ability from me."

"So when do we go online?"

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

'I see you worked in government research - what kind?'

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

Internet Name Tags.

Social network site runs into trouble.

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

Internet Addict Anonymous

"London prepares for the arrival of Philly sports fans."

Mans Best Friends Reunited Web-site.

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

"Yeah sure, I can erase all the silly videos of you that your master has posted on the internet. It's my most popular service..."

"Of course you can't sleep – I told you not to watch squirrel videos right before bed."

"Do I need to remind you that I have a huge Internet following?"

Oh, all right. It's a win-win-WIN situation.

Fortune Telling: Retirement Planning.

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

'Do you, Optimus_!@aol.com. take thee, Sexy69@aol.co...'

"I've got a little job for you, Kretchmer. I want you to infiltrate the I.R.S. and sow the seeds of compassion."