Offline Advocates Pillows

The Off-line Store

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

King uses drawbridge as wheelchair ramp to his van.

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

'Sure, you can communicate with him. He's also hooked up to the Internet.'

"I had to close all my social media accounts. They were making me anti-social."

'Ahem. No txtng PLZ."

"Please hold my calls."

Herring Impaired

"My mommy's passwords are stronger than your mommy's passwords."

'Give me the name of your first girlfriend, first car, and first pet!'

Freedom of Press

The Trump Agenda is resisted by women.

"Before you go through the gates of heaven think back to the early days of the internet. Did you ever visit or post anything homophobic, racist or sexist? Tell me now or I will find out."

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

Cuban Protests

"It's just the virtue signal - unfortunately, it doesn't do much."

'It looks like a sad individual hunched over a computer, but apparently it's people power.'

"I applied for the right to be forgotten."

Thoughts and Prayers

'Whenever I get on the Information Superhighway, somebody FLASHES me.'

"I told you we need the internet. We can't organize a revolution with sticky notes!"

The only guy left who's not online.

Ask Me about my Break from Social Media

You'll require a better credit rating before we we can raise the limit on your card.

"He definitely doesn't want to see anybody."

2020 was a rough year for lip readers. (sad man wearing a mask, not able to read lips)

"Once she went off to college, we turned her room into storage space for all our protest signs."

"For a minimal fee, you can upgrade to, 'predict-plus' and go add-free!"

"What this world needs is a Facebook with admission standards."

'It's so refreshing to meet someone who doesn't blog.'