Phone-free Advocate Pillows

'Ahem. No txtng PLZ."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

King uses drawbridge as wheelchair ramp to his van.

'David, can't you speak for yourself?'

Animal cosmetic testing

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

"You say you know at last where you made the wrong turn in your life. You never told me you made a wrong turn in your life."

"We seem to be the only animals here."

"Here you are - Two house martinis, humanely poured!"

Herring Impaired

"I could use some of those animal rights activists about now."

Get Your Head Out Of Your Phone

"What do you mean 'Get her to stop'?...Your baby's a human being and she already has things she wants to tell you. Crying is the only language she knows. Just hold her tell her 'I hear you'...and grow a thicker skin! Baby tears aren't little grenades, loser!"

'You need to be more accessible to your employees... so you'll need to get rid of the moat.'

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

The Off-line Store

'Can I talk to you offline?'

'It looks like a sad individual hunched over a computer, but apparently it's people power.'

"I applied for the right to be forgotten."

Mouse Protest

The only guy left who's not online.

Enjoy our cell phone free ambience.

"We installed thick, shag carpet. We got tired of everyone dropping and breaking their phones."

An angry Elephant has finally found the person who has his former foot (a Hunter in his Den) using it for a waste-paper basket.

"Is there something you'd like to talk about, Gerald?"

Ask Me about my Break from Social Media

"He definitely doesn't want to see anybody."

Right now, he's in his man cave.'

2020 was a rough year for lip readers. (sad man wearing a mask, not able to read lips)

Cruel sports - foxhunting

'Stop putting words in my mouth!'

Use no hooks.