Office Training Gifts

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Copycats

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Can do...No can do

Storm in the out tray

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Here and There Trays

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Working hours.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"Morning, all!"

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'