Office Skills Gifts

'Can you do shorthand?' - 'I don't know, I've never tried.'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Copycats

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

How leaders fail

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Can do...No can do

Storm in the out tray

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Here and There Trays

Working hours.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"Morning, all!"

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."