Business Skills Gifts

Forward Planning - The key to Success

"He just returned from a motivational seminar."

'Getting a sense of urgency just right can take an awful lot of practice, for sure.'

"It may look like I'm a pushover but I'm not. It's all part of the healthy negotiation experience. Hicks won't be getting that raise today."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

How leaders fail

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

My brilliant career

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

When Engineers Crack.

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

Office worker pushing a pile of papers on trolley.

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'A few messages came in during your lunch break.'

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

'I have created the first interactive pile of paperwork.'

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

That's the chairman's office.

"I like to stay on top of things."

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

'I hate 'bring your inner child to work day.''