Management Skills Gifts

'We're presently entangled in a power struggle.'

"You need more info? Listen, son, our ancestors faked it, I fake it, and by gawd, it's time you learned to fake it."

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

"HR would likes us to remove any reference to 'compassion' from the job description and replace it with 'a qualification in client facing communication and empathy management skills'!"

"If we get out of this alive, I'm signing up for that management class."

'You were the last person I expected to fall down on the job, Trubshaw.'

'I know I just met you, but I already hate you. It saves time.'

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

Suggestion Box

"Do you have any management experience that's offline?"

'To be fair he never has a bad word to say about the employees.'

'Firing workers is a craft, exploiting and bullying them is an art.'

Yelling at workers is craft but leadership is art. Unfortunately, I ignored this fact. Please help.

"I'm worried about my leadership ability. None of the board members follow me on Twitter."

"Work has been so stressful so full on, that I thought we needed a bit of light relief."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'