Management Skills Pillows

'We're presently entangled in a power struggle.'

"You need more info? Listen, son, our ancestors faked it, I fake it, and by gawd, it's time you learned to fake it."

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

"HR would likes us to remove any reference to 'compassion' from the job description and replace it with 'a qualification in client facing communication and empathy management skills'!"

"If we get out of this alive, I'm signing up for that management class."

'You were the last person I expected to fall down on the job, Trubshaw.'

'I know I just met you, but I already hate you. It saves time.'

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

Suggestion Box

"Do you have any management experience that's offline?"

'To be fair he never has a bad word to say about the employees.'

'Firing workers is a craft, exploiting and bullying them is an art.'

Yelling at workers is craft but leadership is art. Unfortunately, I ignored this fact. Please help.

"Work has been so stressful so full on, that I thought we needed a bit of light relief."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Let's not go by the book.'