Organisational Skills Trainer Gifts

Hopworth Brewery: "We fired our Events Manager, he couldn't organise a push-up in a gym."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

Businesswoman Empowerment

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

How leaders fail

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Bo're'droom