Skills Training Gifts

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Overjumpers

He kept up his guitar practise...

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Shake! Good Dog."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

Computer Expert

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

Hanging off every word...