Skills Development Gifts

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

"The job is very stressful. You'll be expected to think fast, talk loud, and parallel park in heavy traffic."

Everyone thinks they can do it

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Staff support"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

International Women's Day.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Reach for the Star.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Pipe Dream.

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

He kept up his guitar practise...

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

I'm a self-made man!