Skills Training Pillows

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

He kept up his guitar practise...

Overjumpers

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Kid with messed up project in Wood Shop, titled: 'Wouldn't Shop'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

'Fetching is a good thing...but there can be TOO MUCH of a good thing.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

"Shake! Good Dog."

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

Computer Expert

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"Not a bad list kiddo, but I know them all! I've told you it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks..."

Hanging off every word...