Organisational Skills Trainer Pillows

Hopworth Brewery: "We fired our Events Manager, he couldn't organise a push-up in a gym."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

How leaders fail

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Bo're'droom

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