Organisational Psychologist Gifts

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Staff support"

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

How leaders fail

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"Any questions?"

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

Human Recources Management

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

'This is what happens when we give up our resistance to change.'

Office Ergonomics.

'....and that's our CEO. He's trying to find a corporate direction.'

"Read the part when I invented micro management."

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

"It sort of makes you stop and think, doesn't it."

The Department of People waiting for Something to Happen...

'This is the most dysfunctional company I've ever seen. Everyone is in complete denial about the elephant in the boardroom!'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'Looks like Kryson is no longer in the inner circle.'

'It was accidentally reversed one day and our profits immediately skyrocketed.'

"I like your attitude, Peterson!"

Employees need to be treated like adults...