Office Seminars Gifts

'What a great web-inar presentation! How about an encore?'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Office meeting

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"I was a lot happier with the elephant in the room."

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

The Card Flinger

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"Any further comments? Alright then, we're adjourned."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.