Work Seminar Gifts

'I just love to watch you get the sales staff fired up, Johnson.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

How leaders fail

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Here we are."

Group Think Time

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'Come on, come on, let's work together!'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'In celebration of Thanksgiving, this week's pie charts are all pumpkin flavored!'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Graph leads down into egg with a big crack.

How to engage an audience

How it feels to be in a company with poor communication.

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

Football is like investing. It's good to have a diversified portfolio. A team should use a balanced mix of run plays and pass plays. And sometimes the quarterback is smart to accept a sack rather than trying something too risky. Right. Take the small loss and move on. A defensive player getting a finger on a pass can have a big impact. In both football and investing a tip can be a real game changer. But some things are different. Football has nothing like a T-Bill. There are no guarant

'I have identified 240 stages of organizational change. Before I discuss them, coffee anyone?'

"We'll start with some 'ice breakers' and 'team building' games..."

Time management office worker