Corporate Seminars Gifts

"Before I continue past my opening joke, I want to know if she is laughing or crying."

Dressing For Success

'Come on, guys, you know what they say: The sour puss never gets the new contract'.'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Build Your Own Portfolio

Bo're'droom

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

Teamwork

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'