Office Meeting Gifts

The elephant in the room.

"To set the proper mood, you will now hear Winston Churchill's immortal 'blood, toil, tears and sweat' speech."

'I'm uncertain on this, but I could be wrong.'

'It's going to be a painful meeting for you, so take a slug of this rot-gut coffee and bite on this #2 pencil.'

"Before we conclude this meeting, is there anyone who needs to finish sucking up to me?"

"I propose we go with the second option."

"The first mistake was bringing donuts to a room full of muffin people."

'And this one marks the crap level from last month's meeting...'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

21st century water cooler conversations.