Business Meetings Gifts

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

"How's my presentation? Call 1-800-..."

'Okay, here's the plan...'

'I called this emergency meeting to discuss the lack of respect I've been getting around here lately.'

"And what my plan may lack in coherence, it makes up for in the exhilerating momentum created by all of these super-cool arrows!"

"Under new business: Peterson, at Hammond Point Beach, reports that a person in the water is flailing about and calling for help. Peterson wants to know what action, if any, he should take."

'I'm glad you're enthusiastic and energized by the Monday morning meeting...but you've got to be more of a team player.'

'That was some grueling meeting. The minutes were kept but the hours were lost.'

"Today's meeting is about meeting to plan a meeting to arrange a meeting about managing our meetings."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'Never mind the dramatics, Watkins. Just read the treasurer's report.'

'Oh I can be reliable and for an extra three hundred a week, I can be efficient too.'

'Sure, a handshake is good enough for me, Hanson, if you don't mind my lawyer looking it over?'

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

Board room meeting, "That was a brilliant idea Smithers-thank you for having it for me"

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

'If the S.E.C. had its way... we could only report what we earned.'

'This isn't third grade, Bob. You can speak.'

The Card Flinger

"The time management consultant called. He'll be a little late."

He was way ahead of his time. Well, not way ahead, only about 10 seconds.

"I move for less transparency."

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

'Next on the agenda: waste management.'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

Henderson will now bumble his way through yet another boring lecture...

OK, we do the annual report as a graphic novel, but only if I don't have to read it.'

The Chairperson must be empowered to ensure that no individual or individuals dominate the meeting and discourage others from having their say.

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

After two hours of negotiations, a consensus is near on an official hashtag for the meeting.

'Do you realize what ethics has cost us this year.'

'Do you know we spend one-third of our lives asleep in meetings?'

'The reason you're getting resistance to planning for the future is because nobody thinks they'll still be here.'