Corporate Meetings Gifts

'Excellent meeting. I loved the quick fixes, the simple solutions, and the easy answers.'

Pie chart - What were we studying, again?

'A touch less rigour on the feedback next time, Stephen.'

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'

Lethal Presentation

Bo're'droom

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

'In the interest of full disclosure I feel you should know that for the remainder of this meeting I'll be sitting here quietly thinking about pro football.'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'Slap me when he's done. I'm putting myself into a self-induced coma.'

"This is goodbye, gentlemen. I have met another board of directors, and we have fallen in love."

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

'All those in favor of making more loans, raise your hands.' (staff's hands are tied to chairs).

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

'So, any thoughts?'

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

'Enough small talk. It's time for big talk.'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'It's important to root out any illegal activity within the company.'

'I'm off to the A.G.M. the C.B.I. then the D.T.I. - after that I'm going home to B.E.D.'

'Just reading the minutes back will be sufficient.'

'Remember our strategy. You divide, I'll conquer.'

"I expect you're all wondering why I called this meeting?"

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"This afternoon we'll have a breakout session...but I wouldn't advise breaking out too far."

Board of directors of a baby products company suck their thumbs after realising sales and profits are down.

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

AGM - Just keep it boring.

Boardroom sacrifice - 'Then we agree - the shareholders don't have to know what transpired here today.'

'We have to be more innovative but not in an out-of-the-box way.'

Death by a thousand buts...

'Okay, places everybody! Here comes the Chairman.'

'Jill knows how to keep it simple.'