Corporate Meeting Gifts

'See how much easier it is when we all work together.'

'The plan is to market our original product as a new product...'

'Would the person who's inhaling the very life out of this meeting please stop it right now?'

"Thank you gentlemen for voting me as chairman."

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

'The management look forward to hearing your thoughts on our exponential strategy for organic enlargement.'

'Make sure that those 'Ideas whose time has come', get launched today.'

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'Who's pumped about this meeting?!'

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

"The short term solution is money and the long term solution more money."

'The SEC ate my report.'

"It's our new corporate strategy. I'd get on board if I were you, Watkins."

Mission Impossible Statement: Grow Faster than the Speed of Light.

'Has the economic downturn had any effect on your profits yet?'

"Just identifying weak members of the herd."

'Who wants to see second prize in the sales contest?'

'Sorensen will put a positive spin on it, Nissen will issue a denial and Sims will flat out lie about it.'

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

"In the light of recent cutbacks we've had to slightly lengthen your job description."

"I'm all for diversity in the boardroom, but I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Before I confirm your remuneration committee would anyone like to comment on what a charismatic and powerful leader I am?"

"Aye, I be Red-Beard, Master of my ship, Lord of my crew, bloodthirsty terror of the seas... but I still can't sign for Marketing without a delegation form."

"Quick, let's make the decision before everyone else shows up!"

"It's a new dress code in case of hostile takeovers"

'It was gravity after this point.'

'After careful consideration, we've concluded this isn't a profits chart. It's the tip of an iceberg sinking in Antarctica.'

A meeting where you do not want to be a fly on the wall.

'In short, gentlemen; we're in deep doo doo.'

"All in favor, say, 'A.I.'."

"Does it work with everybody's schedule to be more vulnerable from 2:15 to 2:30 next Thursday?"

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"The Board just wants to be sure you're well supported."