Corporate Meeting Gifts

'See how much easier it is when we all work together.'

'The plan is to market our original product as a new product...'

'Would the person who's inhaling the very life out of this meeting please stop it right now?'

"Thank you gentlemen for voting me as chairman."

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

'The management look forward to hearing your thoughts on our exponential strategy for organic enlargement.'

'Make sure that those 'Ideas whose time has come', get launched today.'

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'Who's pumped about this meeting?!'

"The short term solution is money and the long term solution more money."

'The SEC ate my report.'

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

'Has the economic downturn had any effect on your profits yet?'

'Who wants to see second prize in the sales contest?'

"Just identifying weak members of the herd."

'Sorensen will put a positive spin on it, Nissen will issue a denial and Sims will flat out lie about it.'

"Before I confirm your remuneration committee would anyone like to comment on what a charismatic and powerful leader I am?"

"In the light of recent cutbacks we've had to slightly lengthen your job description."

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

'After careful consideration, we've concluded this isn't a profits chart. It's the tip of an iceberg sinking in Antarctica.'

"Aye, I be Red-Beard, Master of my ship, Lord of my crew, bloodthirsty terror of the seas... but I still can't sign for Marketing without a delegation form."

"Quick, let's make the decision before everyone else shows up!"

"It's a new dress code in case of hostile takeovers"

'It was gravity after this point.'

"The Board just wants to be sure you're well supported."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

A meeting where you do not want to be a fly on the wall.

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"Does it work with everybody's schedule to be more vulnerable from 2:15 to 2:30 next Thursday?"

"All in favor, say, 'A.I.'."

'In short, gentlemen; we're in deep doo doo.'

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"Some of these ideas....they sound like they....have been pulled out of a hat."