Office Royalty Aficionado Gifts

The Man

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Czarcasm

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'I screwed up royally!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

Scapegoat of the Year

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!