Office Life Observers Gifts

Vending machine with caption 'Zero Options - 50 cents.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

"It's his emotional support animal."

Terry had a computer bug.

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'Long shift?'

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

St. Elmo's fired.

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

Life and Death

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

"I need a more interactive you."

'Put simply, we need our website to tell consumers all about our company without really telling them anything about our company,'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

In case of panic, push button.

Maternity Hospital

"I don't have a 'first hired, last fired' policy. I just fire!"

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

'When the baby sitter gets a standing ovation, I don't know whether to be pleasantly surprised or suspicious.'

Mice 25¢

"I think deep down he's really pleased the union has a female head for the first time..."

"|For some reason, the boss is obsessed with my screen."

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?