Corporate Life Observer Gifts

"We were hoping that you could work from work today."

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

'Fortunately, ideas like these don't come along everyday.'

'We have wonderful synergy. I can dish it out and you can take it.'

Golden Parachutes for Middle Managers

'Any changes while I was away?'

St. Elmo's fired.

Boss in Office: 'We've had to recalibrate the bonus system - you now owe us five years worth of luncheon vouchers.'

Currently Down-Sizing

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

Terry had a computer bug.

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'Comments? Thoughts? Anyone?'

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

'I like people.. but not a whole lot.'

"To make things more democratic, I've decided to introduce a round-table policy."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"They grow up so fast."

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

'Mr. Donovan, is it all right if I tie my shoelace?'

"The boss spent the day bouncing ideas off me!"

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'