Office Jest Gifts

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Overworked in the office

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"I hate performance review season."

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

Lumbar support animal

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Meat Grinder

Parade of Businessmen

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.