Office Jester Enthusiasts Gifts

"I'm taking out some insurance in case I don't meet this month's sales target."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"I hate performance review season."

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"I was just finishing up some spring cleaning."

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'