Office Life Jester Gifts

"We're laying you off, but, as a favor, howabout one last pratfall on your way out?"

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'EKK!'

Road Work Ahead

"This position has become very important to the company."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"I hate performance review season."

Born In Captivity.

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'