Office Life Jester Pillows

"We're laying you off, but, as a favor, howabout one last pratfall on your way out?"

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'EKK!'

Road Work Ahead

"This position has become very important to the company."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"I hate performance review season."

Born In Captivity.

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'