Jester Of The Office Pillows

"I should laugh at my problems? Can I practice laughing at yours?"

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Bo're'droom

Employee won't think about work outside of box

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"I hate performance review season."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."