Work-life Jester Pillows

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Working hours.

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Born In Captivity.

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

Laptop Dancing.

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'Call me in the morning. In the afternoon, I'm out in the field.'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

The Buck Never Stops.

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"Ok weekend! I hope you can make up for that awful week!"

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

'I solve so many work problems at home.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

'I'll be late for dinner Dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

When Pro Athletes Enter The Workforce.

Email Notifications

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

"People just don't realise how stressful this job is. . . I used to have hair!"

"The job is yours. You're a jerk, we're all jerks, I think it'll be a great fit!"

"We've doubled our staff in the last six months." (Smith and Smith - baby in playpen behind desk).

"Excuse me, dear...the rickshaw phone...."