Workday Jester Gifts

'Thank you for holding. By the way, what were you holding.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"This position has become very important to the company."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

"Now you can send it."

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."